• Monday, August 20, 2012

    In Your Eyes.


    In the young eyes of young Nour
    A faded glow of a million suns
    Escapes in the fades of couples and ones
    And a hint of the moon, she extends a smile
    For the hinting breeze omitting in occasion for one a while
    And some moon; which glows
    Upon subtle a light, I remain and all goes
    Hunted by the howling cry of the lute
    Suffocating the earthly smell of fresh fruit
    Causeless we feed a song or hunger
    And the moon merely reflects what is stronger
    Dear God of Moon; Dear God of Sun
    Why have I become and what have I done?
    Arrogance search for a self
    And so I define and delve
    Reject, seek, object, seek
    Deny which world could ever be at all weak

    See, my age long before my years
    I can see bitter cheers
    My ego empty, of veil
    However does not indulge in praise but cries a silent long wail
    And so the lost escapes the it
    Nodding in smiles and pretend wit
    Collapsing strong on God's ground
    Paralyzed the air by the adhan's might, and its sound
    I escape me, to find in young Nour's solemn eyes
    The only single truth, that with every life, all dies
    Countries are none, people are none, all are none
    Without the God is one!..
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    Tuesday, July 31, 2012

    I love her, but she loves another guy.

    I won't get into to much detail but I love a girl, the problem is she loves this other guy. What should I do?

    The back story of this problem..^^
    I know I love her, or you could say I care a lot for her. I wake up every morning finding new ways to make her smile, and ways to tell her how much I care. Everyone thing was going great 7 months ago, I would hang out with her, we were friends but I knew she was special. I was nervous I didn't know how to tell her my feelings. Then it turned to tell when my ex-"FRIEND" decided to like her after his last crush rejected him. He was smarter, better looking, and older than me...I didn't have a lot to offer her besides my humor..(haha how come the fat and nerdy kid is always funny, well God gave me something) but anyways he was more touchy with her, and they started seeing each other...One night I finally told her how I felt, I opened my soul to her...but I had failed. Now they are crazy for each other, they talk about marriage...I hurt every time I see them together, not because I lost but because I know I was born to love her and make her life better, and she won't acknowledge my feelings for her. I have cried a time or to thinking about it. I feel like the other guy doesn't know what love is, he is just attached to her because he lost his virginity to her, and is his first real girlfriend...nothing I have done has worked. I know I am not the bad guy, so what do I do? 
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    Monday, July 30, 2012

    No Matter~


    No matter how submissive the night is,
    I will originate a succession
    of a hundred tones, that all begin with
    your melody.

    No matter how long my limbs have sat
    upon hard, scorching seats,
    I will not sprawl flat 'cross my bed
    until
    I have thought and thought
    all I can for you...

    Because you have not yet been
    captured, in anything but the
    greys of memory-
    and I will spend the night reflecting
    on the person I've come to know,

    and the one I wish to combine
    days we ran through
    secret meadows for us,
    on black and white keys
    with sunflower's disposition
    that speak something of the
    new unknown,

    No matter how humanly plain
    I may seem to you, I will draft
    you sand-prints, notes
    about to be swimming in ink
    as French meters train
    and long, prose-like words make
    your eyes

    indecipherable.

    No matter how late the night is,
    I won't let it end without the music
    of you.

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    Tonight, I Will Sleep Outside


    I never planned
    on returning home that night.

    I was driving past myself,
    past time that grew foggy
    in the rear view mirror.

    I couldn't figure out
    how many miles were left behind,
    how many turns were wronged,
    how many dreams were flitted,
    how many bottles were opened.

    Yet I could tell,
    by the way fear unbuttoned his chest
    in the passenger seat,
    puffed up his cigarette,
    then rolled down the window,
    that my heart was still there;

    I probably left it home,
    tucked in bed, trembling

    in regret.

    I wish I found my way home that night.

    To the front door,
    Ma glued a paper that said,
    you missed your curfew -
    sleep outside.

    Tonight, mother,
    I will sleep outside -

    a flat tire cast among road wrecks,
    a ghost crossing dead ends.

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    Circadian


    Before the dawn, I always wake up to find
    last night's dreams sleeping beneath my pillow.

    Lights flicker on outside my window
    and I just know I'm meant to be alone.

    Each morning, I stir my cup of coffee,
    diluting it with a cube of sugar.

    I don't know why, but it's become routine.


    Everywhere I look, I see nothing but love;
    unless it is the mirror I look into.
    Everytime I breathe, my lungs drown in bleakness;
    unless it is the ocean I confess to.


    Time slips quietly out the back door -
    like an unfaithful husband leaving me,
    as I hide behind heavy eyelids tonight.

    Into the cold embrace of a star-less night,
    I surrender; wishing for change to come
    or perhaps, just a distant light to wish upon.

    I don't understand why, but it's become routine.
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    Monday, July 23, 2012

    Parched


    The sun's rays are panting
    like dry tongues,
    and I've become nothing more than cracked clay
    salivating for the humidity
    of warm hands to mold me
    in the shape of a big-bellied pond

    I want to drink love like water,
    slosh it about in the belly of my soul,
    feel its roots sprout
    and cling to the muddy soil
    like newborn fingers
    that have found a mother to hold

    I want to swallow
    and be swallowed
    quite suddenly, simultaneously
    as if sweaty palms and parted lips
    were enough to quench
    even the thirstiest of tongues

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    Crabs


    It was a decade ago at the bay of youth.

    We ventured to salty waters on stony shores
    and caught red crabs in knobby finger-bones,
    chilled by wet winds that blew (how they blew)
    in the dead of winter - in the staleness
    of an old year.

    We rubbed clear snot from chaffed, pink noses,
    and blew puffs of heat into cupped hands
    on white cheekbones.
    We looked at each other and giggled,
    sharing a half-caught moment of exhilaration.
    I loved you then. I loved you,
    decidedly, my friend.

    But you laughed at me impetuously like you always do,
    and I knew (in a lie or a whisper)
    it was jealousy that would ruin us.

    We drew up blue jeans and waded deeper, deeper,
    sinking in selfish ignorance,
    pulled by sucking mud and waning neap tides.
    Our buckets were filled with miserable red pincers
    and cracking shells,
    staying alive to suffer ten more minutes.
    We spilled their death into baskets of beach bicycles
    and clattering bells - soft, hairy legs pumping
    ferociously down the broken alley roads.
    Our pedal brakes did not work.

    When I fell, you spoke something that stung
    like you always did,
    but try as I might to swallow it down, the lack of
    backbone in your callousness sickened me.
    It stuck in my throat like a bee sting.

    Your uncle waited for us in the kitchen, water boiling.
    Your aunt ballroom danced in the lounge, drunk on
    antihistamines and memories.
    We fed on fresh crab that night, slurping
    meaty flesh from softened shells, cackling
    with ancient savagery, wild eyes
    dancing in candlelight or drowning in wine.
    I loved you then, decidedly;
    I loved you as my dearest friend,
    but also as my nemesis.

    It was a decade later that your jealousy came to a
    staggering boil, blubbering over the top of
    the pot. Finally, I thought I heard the crabs scream,
    but it was not your uncle's doing.
    It was always you. You.
    You.

    When I needed you to curb your sullenness
    and remember my love for you,
    you failed wholly and regretfully.
    You failed me and you knew.
    Now I'll cut you out like a poisoned claw,
    and I'll burn you until you're cooked through,
    and I'll walk away alone.

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